What I’m Not

Posted on July 26th, 2007 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Reality is setting in at the moment. I think because I am sore and tired and miss being able to move without pain, drive a car, ride a bike, play twister. We spent a good amount of time chatting with Rach&Micheal (sister&brother-in-law) last night. This is the crap part. Having to see people you love process different aspects of grief is difficult. Some people try and make sense of what is going on, some respond with confusion or anger at why this happens, a lot are left speechless not knowing what to say, and others just hurt and grieve without words.

My priorities at the moment are to make the most of each day with people and process what is going on in the healthiest way possible. I want to balance the reality of the situation with the hope there will be a happy outcome. Denying the realities never did anyone any favors and resigning to a fatalistic attitude is not an option for me at the moment. I am not angry, not confused, not distraught, not certain. I have hope though, and I am loving being surrounded by friends and fam.

You may be noticing that I am not writing every day. Somedays it will be therapy for me, otherdays I don’t want to face the reflection. If you are wanting good food for thought though, check out www.guiltybystander.org . Every word that I have heard the writer say or I have read has been full of thought, or insight, or humour, or all three.

Go and have yourself a great day.

Song of the day:
Grief Lignting

8 comments.

Julie

Comment on July 26th, 2007.

Thank you for writing today. I hope you have a great day, too. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sarah

Comment on July 26th, 2007.

Yeah that must be really crap. You care about the people around you as much as they care about you, and I know it hurts me when I know the people I love are hurting, especially if I know I’m the cause of their hurting!

I hope you see some small thing today that makes you smile, even if only for a short, golden moment :)

God bless,

Sarah M

Toddy

Comment on July 26th, 2007.

Let’s see if i can somehow produce a short, golden moment…

:-)

There’s one

:-) :-) is that 2 more? Or does it come out looking like syntax gone wrong?

Smile – it makes people wonder what you’re up to!

Ruth

Comment on July 26th, 2007.

Hi Cam,
Just smiling at the thought of Rach and Michael and you guys being together. No-one will be able to roll grief and laughter together like you four.
Love to you all

Kaleb Smith

Comment on July 27th, 2007.

Mark 9:14-29

Rach

Comment on July 29th, 2007.

Wow Cam, what a heart-wrenching, emotional time. My heart aches so much as I read this.
I’ve wanted to write to you for so long …but I am still struggling to come to terms with this horrible reality. I don’t want to accept it.. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this; I wanted my words to carry hope, but I am as shocked, emotional and confused as all the others who walk beside you and love you dearly.
You are amazing Cam and Elizabeth – I also don’t use ‘amazing’ lightly Cam :)
I hugely admire you both – your strength, character and incredible ability to continue to be positive and bring humour in your situation.
I thought of you when I read this Cam..

It’s not who you know that matters,
but who you are inside.
It’s not how much you accomplish in life that really counts, but how much you appreciate every moment. (This is you – so smart and inspirational but always humble. You taught me to appreciate each moment, to love other cultures, to look for beauty and to soak in everything with a grateful heart)

It’s not how high you build your dreams
that makes a difference,
but how high your faith can climb. (You’re always SO positive! You always believed in us. Thank you!)

It’s not how many goals you reach,
but how many lives you touch.

You have touched my life in so many ways. I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity to know you.. and be apart of your journey. I can’t imagine the full emtional trauma..Thank you for having the courage to share this time and be so honest. I admire how in all you’re going through, you think of others, in inviting us to learn with you and walk beside you.
Much love and many prayers xo

Andrew & Robyn Grubb

Comment on July 30th, 2007.

G’day Cameron
What a great idea getting this Blog going so that we can all walk beside you. Something like this would have been great when I went through my own trial in 2004-05.
Just how hard this type of process is for non-Christians I can only imagine.
Fortunately you know what you know. You know that:
+ Your God has not foresaken you!
+ Your family and friends will be there for you!
+ You and Elizabeth will constantly be in all of these peoples’ prayers, thoughts, discussion.
+ Even those of us who are far away, even in St Petersburg, can walk beside you even without the Blog!!
+ You are so fortunate/blessed to have this problem happen to you in Perth. Other locations could present some real challenges!
There will be highs and lows. By setting this up you’ve shown us that you’re prepared to share them with those who care. Do share – as hard as it might be from time to time.
There will be times of frustration, confusion, joy, rapture, sorrow, elation, and on and on………………………but your God loves you….he loves you……….HE LOVES YOU.
Robyn and I will be happy to share these times from afar and the few times when we can be closer…..to laugh……..to cry…….to share the glass or two of red wine….but most of all be there as prayer warriors.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions of the medicos……..most are only trying to do their best……..but don’t be afraid to get a second opinion. You need to be free to have your say. Not to be in control but be heard when it counts. Always get important?critical feedback with someone else there with you. It’s so easy to lose important aspects ‘coz we get lost in a particular issue.

Our love, thoughts and prayers

Moyses

Comment on August 1st, 2007.

Hi Cam
Thankyou for allowing us the privilege of walking beside you as you journey throught this tough time.
Ian and I continue to pray for you and Elizabeth as you soldier on with hope for a happy outcome.
Have appreciated your honesty and incredible humour as you are sharing your ‘up’ days and ‘down’ days.

Keep going strong…much love….God bless,

Ian & lyn

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