I get so emotional baby

Posted on February 10th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

I remember talking with my music shop man, the guy whose wife is battling cancer (referred to him in the post ‘The space between’). He has also had his fair share of health problems and through the midst of it all he explained that what he experiences emotionally now compared to his disposition previously. I understand what he is talking about more and more.

Hardly a day is going by when I would not have an emotional response to something I hear or see. It has been difficult to watch programs on real-life medical stories, any movie with a hint of sadness, or hearing about people in any unfavourable situation. It is not just the sad aspects of life that elicit a response. The other night I almost started crying when someone just blew everyone away with their performance audition on ‘So You Think You Can Dance’! I am waiting to see what happens next time I watch ‘Deal Or No Deal’ to see if I need to book a personality assessment.

Could it be the chemical imbalance in my body at the moment? Is it a permanent deepening of emotional understanding that is going to make me cry at the drop of a hat for the rest of my life? The reality is that it is a bit of both. I know my understanding and emotional disposition has changed permanently, and the changing will continue to take place for a while yet. There are still some big steps to get through.

The hardest thing for me to control is the responses that I have to the responses that others have to what I am going through. Having something affect me directly is so much easier to master control over than seeing or hearing others who going through this all with us, processing what we are experiencing. Not that it is meant to be easy, but it works me up when other people are affected by my circumstance.

So now I find myself walking through the hospital looking at people who I know are going through a tougher time at the moment. I just want to talk with them. We walked out of our consultation the other day really happy, but straight past a family who had obviously received some sad news. There are cues all around me that can set me off, not always noticeable to others, but enough to let me know that my heart is wearing a pathway to my throat.

There have been times recently I have gone quiet in conversation and pretended to forget what I was going to say next. The reality is that it is taking all my physical energy to control my eyes watering or to stop a whimper escaping mid-sentence. So you can treat this as a bit of a disclaimer, a warning if you like.

Of course, it could just be the medication messing with me.

13 comments.

Robyn

Comment on February 10th, 2008.

I have found that menopause has the exact same emotional symptoms. I find it much easier to go with the flow, be that the flow of tears, the flow of heartfelt thoughts, or the flow from the nose while hunting for a fresh tissue. It causes too much strain and harsh headaches trying to fight this emotional surge. I feel emotions are looking for release, for acknowledgment and validation. I have now come to the point of recognition and acceptance. Fighting these welling emotions is painful, and I figure what you are going through is hard enough without adding in a stiff upper lip.

Once I started letting it all out when it wanted to come, the bouts of emotional overwhelm became less intense, and now I almost welcome them. They let me know I am still alive when everything else is looking pretty funky.

Deb Wilson

Comment on February 10th, 2008.

God is weeping all the time Cam . He weeps with sadness and joy as he watches his people. God is always showing us new things but our eyes are not always open…..weep away if you want to, it connects people together. Its good. Deb W.

Beth

Comment on February 10th, 2008.

Joy shared is doubled.
Sorrow shared is halved.

…or so the saying goes.

At least the first line is true for me, and I have a feeling a lot of people can relate to the second line too.

It seems to me that compassion is what you’re experiencing (like Jesus wept) because you feel for others. And sometimes it IS easier to deal with your own problems and reactions rather than how others approach you. When it comes to grief/suffering, it is often the bereaved/sufferer who provides comfort and reassurance to everyone else.

Just be real, don’t apologise. The facade falls away quickly when we’re stripped of our usual confidence and certainty. The ‘who we are’ has so much more value than the ‘who we want people to think we are’ or even the ‘what we think we should be like’.

And anyone who does not get that, has never been there.

Cam, you and Elizabeth are just great. God bless you.

Cuz Adam

Comment on February 10th, 2008.

Don’t worry about it Cam. It’s just that your perspective on life and issues have changed. The exact same thing happened to me after Melia was born. Now I simply cannot watch anything that implies that a child is distressed. Anything. I also get a chill when Neville Longbottom is awarded an extra house point which wins Griffindor the Hogwarts House Cup. Why? I also get a chill when the first chord is played in the last song in School of Rock. Why?
Don’t get me started on the Huggies ad which plays “It must be love”

serendipity

Comment on February 11th, 2008.

created in His Image – wow! (with all that means…)
brown/harris gene contributes a little but its not all bad

Lynda

Comment on February 11th, 2008.

Intrinsically we all have this well of emotion/compassion just bubbling away inside and sometimes it may only take the slightest of things to trigger it.

Your awareness to peoples circumstances, situations or reactions has been sharpened to the point where you are now the protector (so to speak) because your perspective on life has been changed forever.

I don’t think you could shun this overwhelming feeling if you tried – because this in itself is part of the healing process.

A continual reminder that you are indeed a normal human being -albeit an extraordinary one – and someone that will continue to be emotionally involved in other peoples lives.

Oh for goodness sake – give me a tissue!!

Guy in the sack cloth and ashes

Comment on February 11th, 2008.

It’s funny how as time goes on, different things make you emotional. I don’t think it has anything to do with age, but about experiences we travel through. Sometimes those experiences change us in a profound way. Gives us a new heart that feels both pain and joy in a more intense way.

Here’s the top seven things that choke me up.
1) Seeing either my wife or daughter cry.
2) Reading Camerons website
3) Working with students at my school who I know are abused.
4) Paul Potts first performance in ‘Britains got talent’
5) The end scene in the movie ‘Amazing grace’
6) A clearly preached Gospel message
7) about 3/4 of every game the Fremantle Dockers play.

Wife of the guy in the sack cloth and ashes, choking up on his wife

Comment on February 11th, 2008.

It’s funny, there’s always something you can learn about someone you think you know really really well, like your husband for instance. Unfortunately for him, lately I have been crying a fair bit (happy/sad/emotional tears) due to a change in my medication (for depression) – every Sunday morning service during worship, while watching wildlife documentaries, when thinking about how blessed I am with my family and nearly every evening while chopping up onions. I am wondering whether in fact he should join me and also take up drugs to make him feel better. You know of course Cam that a mixture of meds, cancer and life in general can make even the most hardened cry. What’s good about this website is that you have led the way in crying and managed to get the Brown boys to publicly admit to having emotions. Call the cops!

Guy in the white suit

Comment on February 11th, 2008.

For the record, I said “things that choke me up”. That does not mean cry. It means almost, but at the last minute held it back. i.e choked.

I deny any allegation of me actually crying.

cons

Comment on February 11th, 2008.

Yeah just go with it Cam. Ever since having my miscarriage I have been permenantly on the edge of choking up. I think its something to do with learning, as tacky as it sounds, the meaning of life. You can no longer walk through life and be ignorent to other peoples pain, because you know what pain is like, and you don’t want anyone else to ever experience it. So embrace the tears, as your emotions are simply the Holy Spirit living in you.

Your welcome to come to my house and watch ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’ anytime.

Pam

Comment on February 11th, 2008.

You’ve always been like that, Cam, perhaps with less tears. Always hugely compassionate.

manda rowe

Comment on February 11th, 2008.

like father like son… and your dad always used to blame the microphone at church…hmmm

Stace

Comment on February 11th, 2008.

In the words of Simple Plan…”welcome to my life…”
haha… and Pams right Cam… maybe there weren’t tears… but u were always one to show compassion. Isn’t it strange when something you think is new about yourself is something others have seen it in u all along? hmmm… let it out Cam! Just have a good cry… i always do:)
God Bless:)

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