Snippet of life

Posted on June 9th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

An extract from a letter I wrote a friend this week. I couldn’t be bothered re-writing or fluffing it out to make it sound profound. This is life, and it is allowed to be.

“One would think that me being sick would soften my heart to spiritual things, relational things, make me repent like crazy and pursue a holy life. At this point, I think I am more reactionary, remain pissed off at people who have hurt me and feel like I am more capable of pursuing sin than ever before. Hows that?! This should be a fantastic opportunity to get things in order. Instead I am in tension with being a bitter soul and one who feels like I am learning significant things about God’s nature. A strange place to be.

I am beginning to fear a bit more for the future. I fear more for the way I may handle it, rather than how things pan out with my body.”

6 comments.

Serendipity

Comment on June 10th, 2008.

Yeah! Just as well for all of us that our High Priest – who calls us “brothers” – who understands all our struggles, is at the right hand of the throne of God, making intercession for us!!
Thankyou for being real.

Sharon Murphy

Comment on June 10th, 2008.

When i was told my options, I use to think I should be really sweet and nice all the time so I would get into heaven, but some days I just feel pissed off and it shows and if you happen to be around me the week that i am on the roids whoa look out my tongue is acid.

Guy in the white suit

Comment on June 10th, 2008.

Real. Transparent. Genuine. Wise. No bulldusting.

and . . . Christ like.

sojourner

Comment on June 10th, 2008.

When things are out of our control it is healthy to blame external factors and get angry! As for “getting things in order” spiritually – not necessary – Christ has your back! Let the sparks fly! Better that than shutting down and giving up – God wouldn’t have it any other way (:>{})

Holly

Comment on June 10th, 2008.

In my experience over the last year, I believe that being “pissed off” is just a part of survival. When Wade was first diagnosed I would watch my otherwise happy and agreeable child yell and scream at me for making him take his medicine. He still has moments when he is just done, tired of the meds and being poked. Wayne and I also struggle with being pissed off as well, I think we still wonder why this had to happen to Wade. We are all human after all, it is our nature to be pissed off sometimes. But the important thing is to not get stuck in that emotional state. No matter how angry I am God still shows me the good and I find a peace again.

Toddy

Comment on June 11th, 2008.

So – how do you deal with the pissed-offedness? Is it something you embrace and go ‘bad superman’ on (Superman 4) or does it produce guilt and condemnation?
Or, is it just one of those things where you go ‘this is one of those things’?

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