Annus Revolvo

Posted on August 31st, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Yes I know, it sounds anatomically impossible, but it actually means the ‘repeat of a year’, or close enough to. I am pretty sure that this year will have some new things in store for us, and that it won’t be a complete repeat of last year, but the similarities thus far are making me wonder.

It was about this time last year that I was having my scans done so they could plan my radiotherapy. This involves a CT scan and a lot of measuring. This time, they will be going to radiate through my back as well as the tumor is situated pretty much smack bang in the middle of my torso. The down side to this (like there is an upside) apparently is that now the radiation needs to pass through more of my chest wall and sternum from the front, and then through my spine, esophagus, bronchial tubes from the back and it will affect my lungs somewhat. Last time, it took about two weeks between the planning scan and the radiotherapy to commence. So that will be my Monday.

Elizabeth has been sick all week really with the flu and generally run-down. Thankfully she has Mondays off anyway, but it is taking a while to shake this one. We have been able to take a bit of rest over the weekend though while everything sinks in. I don’t know how to describe how we are feeling at the moment, and we do feed off each other a great deal in the way we respond.

In the last 48 hours though I think I have been able to make the mental switch to at least take on this next week. This is so far from what I was expecting to be doing four days ago. Part of the significance of getting away the other week was to kiss the last year goodbye and start the new chapter. Now it just seems like a pick-a-path book where I’ve hit the same crappy page for the second time.

Underlying this seemingly coping attitude lies a tough conclusion to come to, and that is the hope that we had a year ago is the same hope that we have today. It hasn’t dwindled because of the events that happen along the way. If it does, then it doesn’t deserve to be called hope. There will be an appropriate time to put the hope for this situation to rest, but it is not now, nor should it be anytime soon.

As you were, in hope and faith. And thank you for being so.

7 comments.

janine

Comment on September 1st, 2008.

An erstwhile writer myself, I’ve come to love your turn of phrase (rather enviously at times) and I had to laugh at your post title. Funnily, I had a visual image of a terminator style weapon readying to fire another devastating round, perhaps blasting away at the next cancer cell that dares to threaten your equilibrium of courage. Go revolvo!

Cam

Comment on September 1st, 2008.

Janine, I love this image you present. I can’t tell you the difficulties I had trying to find an appropriate picture to accompany this post title. You will be thanking me that I gave up in the end.

Ian and Lyn Moyses

Comment on September 1st, 2008.

Have been following your journey. Upset you have to repeat last years’ treatment path. You both are in our thoughts and prayers. Much love

Susanna H

Comment on September 1st, 2008.

Dear Cam and Liz,
Our hearts go out to you.

I agree with:
Sharon Murphy’s
Comment on August 4th, 2008.
“I know we all try and be as positive as we possibly can and
I know there are people worse off than us, but sometimes you just think,
LIFE CAN BE SUCH A BITCH SOMETIMES.”

Keeping up HOPE and thinking of you both
and your families.
Please let us know if there’s anything we can do or help.
Much love from all the Hoppies oxox

Please read next comment and let me know what you think.

Susanna H

Comment on September 1st, 2008.

How are you going financially?

Could all those who would like to contribute financially, give something
so that Libs doesn’t have to go to work for a while?

Would that be an option?

Please let me know: thehoppies@gmail.com

Cheers, Susanna

Cam

Comment on September 1st, 2008.

Thank you so much for your kind suggestion Susanna. That is very thoughtful and generous.

We are actually managing pretty well at the moment. I have been selling left-over steroids down here in the city on the weekend and… no, really in all seriousness we want for nothing. Lib’s work has been one of the ways that we are keeping some normality in life too.

We are so thankful for your thoughtfulness however! If people are really keen to donate, I can’t say enough about the Leukemia Foundation of Western Australia or the Cancer Council.

Once again, honoured.

Jan

Comment on September 3rd, 2008.

Cam…..
I AM SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS :(
I am shedding tears for you but please know that I am praying that THIS IS IT…. this will be the last of your ordeal and only health will prevail. Love from USA

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