Time out

Posted on March 17th, 2010 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

For the last month or so I have been living on the farm out at York which has been brilliant. Apart from being a very relaxing place, Ma and Pa have poured out there generous care for me in every way.

Dad has also spent a lot of time converting one of the sheds into the new silver studio, and it is looking fantastic. We really just finished today, so it is all functional. Very happy to get that done.

The time up here has really been vital in getting through a very rough time mentally. I would say that only in the last couple of days have I seen some progress that has been positive. At this time I am also struggling to lower my intake of painkillers. They were originally prescribed for my hip pain, but that was back in October last year. I can hardly believe that I have been on them constantly since then, but I have, and my body has become very used to them. I didn’t need them for physical pain as much as what I was taking them to get through the day mentally. I still rely on them now, but I am lessening the dose each day.

At my worst, I would have had 400mg of Oxycontin in a day – but usually 200 – 300, depending on how I was feeling. I would say they have been a life-saver though. The times I have been at my lowest, I have been able to chew through a wad of tablets and capsules to bring me back to a place of respite in a matter of 20 minutes. On many occasions I have gone from painful hysterics to drowsy ambivalence thanks to these medications. I take them because they work.

Last week, I came across a book on healing that emphasises the power of Scripture, God’s Word. I have been reading specific verses over and over, believing that there is power in doing so. This is a big thing. I told the nurses last week that I believe that I am going to get better, and if I do, it is because God is healing me. My treatment regime has been halved, in that I will now only be getting one injection of the miracle chemo Velcade per treatment week rather than two. So if my body shows signs of improvement, it is unlikely due to the chemo. I told them to wait and see what happens.

I had a consult with Dr Brad a week or two ago. The options ahead include a stem-cell transplant with my own stem-cells (as I had before) but with other drugs in combination. I still have Velcade for a few months yet, but I don’t want to be on that forever. It keeps me alive, but I don’t want to be just kept alive – I want to be free from this disease – that is what God promises. I want to see this stuff happen. I believe it can, and I expect it will.

Mental health, physical health, spiritual health – I need a gym that takes care of them all.


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