From the Ashes, with an Ash.

Posted on November 2nd, 2010 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

The last three months have been beyond amazing.  There has been an incredible chapter in my life that has involved the meeting up of with a girl in Queensland, a massive, rapid and phenomenal beginning of a relationship that has completely and utterly taken us both by surprise.  I cannot begin to explain how happy we are.  I guess the seriousness of our relationship can be explained by the fact that two weeks ago we got engaged and will be marrying on the 22nd of January next year.

Yes, Ash is an amazing woman.  It seemed that everything brilliant happened in the space of a few short months.  There was a remission, a complete change in thinking, a job that is just the most amazing work at the Uni with the most amazing staff and students, and now this – a relationship with Ash that has completely overwhelmed us both.  We both realise that our relationship has been a massive gift for each of us.

Ash’s brothers, Jai and Mark, used to live in Perth.  I spent a lot of time with Jai as he looked after Mark who had been diagnosed with cancer a short time before we met.  I used to catch up with Mark through various cancer networks before he went back to Queensland to live when he became too ill.  Sadly, Mark passed away in December last year.

Ash and I started a conversation about three months ago that hasn’t stopped.  We both don’t want to spend another minute apart, so we are both completely elated to be spending the rest of our lives together.

I can understand that there may be some people that may be completely surprised by this, and that is ok.  I am not surprised that people may be surprised, surprisingly.  While most peoples’ responses have been over the moon for us, it may take some more time for others to get to that stage, and that is fine too.  For us, however, we are incredibly happy.

In all this, I see God has provided everything once again.  The fact that it may not match up with some peoples’ ideas of how it should look no longer consumes me.  It would have many years ago, and even up until recently.  But I feel set free from these binds.  I have never felt such incredible blessing as what I feel now, along with freedom, excitement about the future and a passion for living.  I have no doubt whatsoever that the happiness and desire to live that my mind has shifted to has had such a significant part in my physical body responding, if not everything to do with it.

I was happy before I met Ash, but it has been a whirlwind of unexpected elation over recent months.  I have learned a lot from the mistakes in the past, one of the biggest learning how to move on from the past.  The freedom that it allows it unbelievable.  In April I had a date and a plan in place to remove my sorry arse from this planet.  A hopeless situation proved hopeful.

At this point, I believe that I used to have cancer, but not now.  I have been trying to explain it to people, that in the last few weeks, my happiness has been so utterly profound, that it is not just my emotions that indicate happiness, but I feel my physical body is happy too – and I know that some of you who have been through similar circumstances know exactly what I am talking about.  I feel that even at a cellular level, my body is physically enjoying a happiness that has been absent for a long time.  There is no stress, there is nothing but uncontrollable joy, health, smiles, optimism, plans for the future, plans for family, plans for spontaneity.

I now feel that everything that I have is so undeserved.  I have health, happiness again, an amazing family, incredibly loyal friends and a new chance at love.  I know that an incredible depth of love has been shown to me in immeasurable quantities from  my family and friends.  I have been loved by the best, and I live in light of this.

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