Trial results

Posted on February 28th, 2011 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

The trial is working. Kappa light chains are down from 550+ to 27. Tumours have gone down significantly. Goal is to not get peripheral neuropathy so I can stay on the trial for the entire year. Goal is to not need the trial.

My mind is overwhelmed. So many things to consider. It is like there is too much happening and everything has had to grind to a halt for self-preservation. I don’t feel like I can make decisions at the moment.

The heat here in Perth too is just too much. Can’t venture out the door, unless there is a destination with an air-conditioner. Other than that, it is a case of keeping as cool as possible by having the occasional cool shower and laying by the fan. Regulating body temperature at the moment is difficult, as the chemo plays games with my body. They are not the games I enjoy.

I have been feeling a lot more nauseous on this round of chemo for some reason too. It could be the heat, or it could be that I am one of the 50% of participants who actually have the trial drug rather than the placebo.

I am struggling to keep the strength up to fight this thing to be honest. I haven’t been able to process this step of being on the trial. I am thankful to be on it, no doubt, as it has certainly worked so well already. But what next? I always saw this trial as the last step, and medically it is really – after that it is just hit or miss. So while my mind tries to get the strength to pursue healing, my body gets tired, the complexities of life get bigger and it ends up being a lot easier to let my body rest, rest, rest.

It is this rest though that seems too much like not living that crushes me. I want to be doing so many things, but my body and mind get cramped to the point of frustration. I dream of being healed, of a new life. There is so much that is needed to win this.

There is more to be expected from God on my healing I believe, but it is just so difficult to not get discouraged, distracted, disappointed. Where to from here?

4 comments.

Vic

Comment on February 28th, 2011.

Hi Cam (& Ash)

Gracie & me just saw your latest “you tube” videos. Really great to see you so happy.

Gracie saya she hopes and prays you will get better.

Lots of Love – Vic, Bron & Grace

Hazel

Comment on February 28th, 2011.

Under His wings is refuge. Praying for you.

sojourner

Comment on March 2nd, 2011.

Try tapping into your creative self – choose something that can be done in an air conditioned room – something you’ve never done before – abstract painting with acrylics, paper collages, working with clay, writing poetry, playing instruments you’ve never tried, etc, etc – choose something that you can work on in spurts – it will give you rest and allow you to have a purpose – it will make you use a different part of your brain and keep you from dwelling on reason – it will connect you to the Creator :0)

Peter E Jones

Comment on March 4th, 2011.

Hi Cam
this comment didn’t show up for your previous entry, so here goes another attempt!

it is that pagan Jones again, withering on about evidence, reason etc.
You might like to read the British Medical Journal (BMJ), December 2006:
“Mistletoe as a treatment for cancer”
http://www.bmj.com/content/333/7582/1282.full
Of course this guy is just a professor in complementary medicines and the BMJ is only one of the most highly regarded journals in the medical field. What do all those guys know, hey?
Anyway here is the pull quote from that BMJ article below.
All the best
========
Thus, mistletoe has been tested extensively as a treatment for cancer, but the most reliable randomised controlled trials fail to show benefit, and some reports show considerable potential for harm. The costs of regular mistletoe injections are high. I therefore recommend mistletoe as a Christmas decoration and for kissing under but not as an anticancer drug. At the risk of upsetting many proponents of alternative medicine, I also contend that intuition is no substitute for evidence.

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