Perry Stallsus? Not here.

Posted on March 31st, 2011 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Dr Brad popped in today to say hi and tell me what the plan is. He works at both Charlies and Hollywood so I love it that he is the common factor aside from my intestines. It seems the chemo has resulted in an autonomic response where my guts have shut down, peristalsis has ceased and everything has gone from slow to stop over the last few weeks. The plan now is to stop the velcade chemo for a week and give my body a break – the trial will continue but without the velcade. The problem is slowly resolving, but it has been uncomfortable, in the most comfortable surroundings I could ask for. Very thankful for such great care and surroundings.

After all the medications they have given me to get my bowels on the move, in the end I think what has been most effective was me going to by the Quokka (Trading Post) paper. Gets me moving every time. At the moment, I would love to build a big shed house, so I have been busy with pen and paper refining my design for a ecofriendly shed/house. It keeps my brain occupied anyway.

Looking forward to my new video camera arriving next week also. It has been a while since my last ones were stolen, so now I can get back into a bit of hobby filming and what-not. My mind has been dwelling on being better, having an energetic body, free from disease and back into action soon. God has been doing some great stuff in my changing thinking, so I am excited to see where this is heading.

So thankful for peoples’ prayers for me in every way.

2 comments.

Gutted.

Posted on March 28th, 2011 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Last Thursday I was scheduled to do some supervising work for the Uni Prac Students. This is the only work I am doing at the moment as it just involves meeting and greeting for the majority and is pretty flexible. I got to my first school and was not feeling that flash at all. After checking in on 3 students, I knew my day had come to an end.

I made a bee-line for the freeway in the direction of home as I was very nauseous after taking some oral chemo that morning. I ended up on the side of the freeway trying my best to not vomit all over my work-pants and shoes. Not that successful.

For the next 24 hours, my guts were in spasms. I thought it might get better overnight but the situation just got worse, so Friday afternoon I checked myself into ED at Charlies to get things sorted. After an Xray or two and an overnight stay, I felt a bit better so I was able to go home. The problem never really got sorted, it is just that I felt better.

The weekend was pretty much wiped out by the fact that I was still in intermittent pain. This morning was not that better so I took my overnight bag down to Hollywood Private Hospital to get the problem sorted out for good. This place is like heaven with Foxtel. It is luxury hotel first, hospital second. Honestly, it blows me away how well we in the west get cared for with our health. We do not know how great we have it.

I haven’t slept much for days. I haven’t had a full meal since last Wednesday night. I have had nausea pretty constantly since Thursday morning now and I have had a gutful of feeling this way. I have been so teary when being admitted as I feel the incredible care I have been given. Amazing. Humbling. And I am just dead tired.

So the goal over these next few days is to sort out what is going on. X-rays, enemas and other forms of torment have been suggested, but I do not mind what they do at this point. I am looking forward to feeling good again. Soon.

Everything else is good, if not great. Some fantastic life things are going on and Ash and I have been challenged daily to continue to think about all the great things that we have, all the positive things that are going on.

At the moment, I am beat, just need to sleep.

5 comments.

What hasn’t been happening?

Posted on March 18th, 2011 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

That is more the question, as everything seems to be happening.

The bulk of which I will talk about at a later time, but at the moment, the day-to-day meanderings will need to suffice.

The days at the moment are recorded on my drug chart calendar as a tick (meaning I was feeling ok), a N = Nausea or a T = Tired. I have most days split recently with all three symbols appearing in any given day, but often the N and usually the T. Still, great things happening.

I have been blown away by people’s love and care during the last week which was a birthday week for me. I turned 37 which, let’s face it, is pretty much 40. Whoever coined the phrase ‘Life begins at 40′ had better not have been making stuff up, otherwise I will be heading over to their house in less than 3 years time with a rather large baseball bat, or at least some hot tar and feathers. Not really. I am more than happy with how things are at the moment. I have all the support in the world, all the hope, a lifetime of great experiences, and everything I am experiencing now is worth gold – absolutely.

I have Ash with me, and she has overwhelmed me with goodness, care, and inspired me in ways I thought I would inspire her. Things have got crazy in our world, in the best way possible. More is yet to come.

God is pummelling me with challenges at the moment that I am finding exciting to learn about, experience, and wanting to participate in. It had its beginning in the desire to be healed, but is ending up in a lifestyle of massive expectation of what power is available to us through Him. No limits, aside those which we apply.

Cryptic, yes. But I have been left hanging on more than one occasion, so I am sure you will survive.

That’s enough, for now.

3 comments.

This last week

Posted on March 12th, 2011 by Cam.
Categories: All The Videos, Let's talk.

What a big week.

We feel like we are on a massive learning curve. On Monday and Tuesday night we went down to see Bill Johnson speak on healing. It was awesome. There was great teaching on the reality of God’s Kingdom being released in our lives, and how we can live our lives expecting God’s power to be demonstrated in healing, spiritual breakthrough, etc. as the norm, not the exception. Bill went through some principles of God and healing – we could have listened all night.

We all then went into a time of prayer for people to be healed. Firstly, Bill asked if there were any people with injuries with metal plates or screws etc. or where people had injuries that hadn’t healed properly. I remained sitting, although Ash encouraged me to get prayer for my hip. I thought ‘It’s a whole hip! How could God replace the whole chunk of metal I have in it?’ Anyway, I remained sitting down, prayed for others, and then realising how I was limiting my thinking of God. Others have been healed, their metal disappeared.

Then his team gave words of knowledge for specific sicknesses and injuries. I think the first guy said ‘Is there anyone here with a blood disorder or disease?’ I stood up and received prayer from people around me for healing. We were encouraged to test our our injuries/diseases after prayer to see if we noticed any difference. It is a bit more difficult to test out my disorder. I could have offered to bleed everywhere and then clot as quickly as possible to see if my platelets had come back up from 40, but I didn’t.

I still came away really encouraged, and I felt like I had energy. This whole week I have been pretty much flat out on a couch, not being able to do much at all. The chemo has really hit hard. We decided to come back again on the Tuesday.

Tuesday was just as good. Great teaching, and very encouraging. After Bill had spoken, we went into another time of prayer for healing. This time, he asked specifically if there were any people who had a terminal illness, anyone who without healing would die of their disease. I was surprised that out of maybe 700 people, there were only about 4-5 of us who stood. The whole church prayed for us, and for some time. Although I didn’t feel any physical sensation, I feel my hope was topped up and I again came away very encouraged.

The most encouraging part of the night for me was what happened after the praying. A not got passed down from the left side of the building and the note stopped at me (the people who gave it to me told me it was intended for me – I hope I heard right). Anyway, the note had written on it a word of knowledge that someone received while I was being prayed for. I won’t write it up here, but it again gave me hope for the future, hope that I would be healed, hope that there would be resolution.

There were many people healed again that night, and I am not sure where I stand with my sickness. My body still feels run down with chemo, sore from everything and I can still feel pain from specific locations. I am still convinced, more than ever, that my only hope for complete healing is through persistent prayer for God to clean up my body, to totally restore it. There are way too many things wrong with it for any hospital to deal with.

I haven’t stopped listening to CDs or watching youtube videos on this teaching since. It is not even just about the healing. It is about a lifestyle where God’s power shows up all the time. It is a lifestyle that I want to pursue, even if healing is not an outcome.

This has pretty much consumed our week. Physically and mentally, I feel like everything is quite a blur. I hate being on chemo. It is keeping me alive, but it is hard not to get disappointed at the low level of functionality of my body and mind. I am so thankful for what I have, and who I have. Ash has been amazing in every way. She has been excited by everything we are experiencing, even when I am tired and run down.

Some amazing things are going on, no doubt.

3 comments.

Back on the horse

Posted on March 7th, 2011 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Tonight I feel back on a familiar road. Ash and I went to a healing service where a minister called Bill Johnson was speaking. There were lots of people getting prayed for, lots of healings. I am not sure if I am one of them yet, but I did come away feeling very encouraged and energised. It makes for quite a change, as the last few days have been quite different.

Yesterday I hardly moved from the couch, and today was not much different other than I forced myself to join Ash at the beach, just to get out of the house. My body was pretty sore again, all over, and once I had lay down in the sand, I was there to stay for a time. I managed to get one dip in before heading home which made me feel a great deal better – something about the ocean that soothes like nothing else.

We will head back to the next healing service tomorrow. Will probably write more detail then when not so tired.

2 comments.

Displaced

Posted on March 7th, 2011 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

It has been so long without any consistency.

If I had of stayed in one town, one house, one job, one street, one everything – then things may feel like they have some consistency.

The older I get, the less I feel like I am every going to feel a sense of belonging anywhere.

I have no place I feel at home in. The place I feel I can feel most relaxed is in a hospital bed of some kind. A private room, with my own bathroom, tv, meals brought to me – seems the closest I have felt to feeling a sense of consistency. Everywhere else I seem displaced.

The old car I drive makes me feel at home. The smell of 1970′s vehicle upholstery, burning oil and the familiar clunking rhythm of environmentally displacing engines remind me of the cars I remember from when I was 4 or 5. But you can’t live in these cars, tempted as I might be to.

I yearn to be somewhere where I can really rest. There is no place where that happens anymore, and I don’t expect it to return. There is no place I feel like I feel is mine. Maybe it is because I have lived in way too many different places in the last two years. Maybe it has been because my mind has not been able to settle for so long.

Whatever it is, I feel displaced. I feel more temporary. I feel like the only things that bring me connection to security are those which were present when I was a young kid – ironically, during overwhelming insecurity.

If the car had a private bathroom maybe…

1 comment.

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