PBTW

Posted on June 10th, 2011 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Stands for “poo bum tit wee” -it was the swear word my folks used to joke about when trying to find appropriate words without using the more crude variety.

I thought of similar words tonight as I took a shower, and for the first time actually looked at my back in the mirror. I have mentioned my difficulties of sleeping on my back due to the pain on the left hand side, and now I see why.

I guess I wasn’t ready to see the bump. I have felt it with my hands before, but to see it took me by surprise. I won’t put any photos up now because it won’t do anyone any good. I will put them up once they have gone – then we can do the obligatory ‘before’ and ‘after’ shots. I have to say, these ‘before’ shots suck. I remember the day when all I had to do was pout and love the camera.

Last night, I came back from having prayer at the Healing Rooms and I was feeling absolutely invincible – I had no doubt I was going to be fine. I was there again today and I was feeling a little down, again, the pain and the long-haul getting to me. I still came away encouraged.

Andrea and Brendan are the main two who have sacrificed a huge amount of time praying for me at the prayer rooms, then they go home and pray for me and others. Then they rock up the next day and pray for me again for hours on end. They have inspired me incredibly with how they pray, and they know we are at critical point here now, so they have been incredibly generous and persistent with their commitment.

Tonight, I am not sure where I am. They will be prayers of exhaustion tonight. I am tempted to run with the “Whatever” version of prayer. I know I believe completely in God’s power for healing. Although my faith has taken a beating over the years, it is stronger than ever at this point in time. It is back to trusting God now regardless of what I see in the mirror, feel in my back, doubt in my logic.

I will continue to declare God’s goodness to me – this is not negotiable and I only need to introduce onlookers to my family and friends to leave them with no trace of doubt also. I am well looked after. Ash continues to inspire me and encourage me when I have no courage of my own. I am in the perfect setting to be restored.

1 comment.

Julianne Pulver

Comment on June 12th, 2011.

My dearest Cameron,
I am constantly amazed at you and how you are handling this journey. I think about you everyday, pray for a miracle and struggle with the fact that too many beautiful young people are fighting this horrible disease. I want to say something insightful but all I can think of is, “this sucks, big time!!!!” and “it isn’t fair and it’s just wrong, wrong on so many levels.”

From the very minute I met you I was struck by just how special you are. I cannot put into words just how much you have affected my life. Truly, I feel so fortunate to have come to know you and am most grateful. You have touched my heart, dear, sweet Cameron.

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