The Walk Beside

Lala

Posted on September 21st, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Stella Rose, affectionately known as Lala, had Auntie Rach come over with the camera yesterday.

She is dainty, beautiful and peaceful (the times I have seen her).

Those who are keen to see more can click on this:
http://picasaweb.google.com.au/LaLaBain/Stella12Days
and choose slideshow.

5 comments.

Ok, that’s enough.

Posted on September 19th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

The biopsy is over and the preliminary results (observations) are favourable. The sample today again looked like just blood drawn from a hematoma. The cytology report should be ready in a week. I don’t know what I was happier about- the biopsy being over or the news that the mass is likely a blood clot.

For those who may want to know the details of such a procedure, read on. I know it can sometimes be helpful for people to have some sense of preparedness if you are going through this. Some may choose to not find out if it adds to their anxiety.

I have now had four samples taken from my sternum area. Of these, hang on, let me count… none have been enjoyable. I think it is more to do with the fact that someone is working quite close to the core of your body with sharp implements. Every part of your body’s instinct is to protect the core of your body, so to allow such violation is a real discipline. I would imagine similar feelings occur with procedures to the head.

I gowned up in a two-tie exposing little number today. Being fairly tall, the gown tends to be more of a shirt for me, leaving my legs and upper thighs as temporary highlights on the ward for staff and other patients. I need to be careful not to drop anything on the floor as bending down to pick anything up can be awkward.

After a chat with the Specialist, consent forms were signed and I was taken into the CT room, as the CT scanner is used to provide guidance as the needle goes in. They did a few diagnostic scans first up which involves injecting a contrast dye into the cannula. This moves through your body pretty quickly and gives you a warm rush, you feel like you need to take a leak, but it passes (the sensation, that is). They then marked on my chest where the entry point would be and then prepared me for the biopsy.

They didn’t give me a sedative like I hoped for, as I needed to be fully awake to respond to the instructions of breathing. Local anesthetic is injected around the entry point, and for me this was just left of my sternum. Once the site is numb, the biopsy needle is pushed in a little way, and a scan is taken. The Specialist makes sure the needle is following the right line into the mass.

A guy from cytology was standing just outside the door, and as soon as a sample is drawn, he views the cells under a microscope and gives immediate feedback on the nature of the cells in the sample. In my case, it was to determine whether they did a full biopsy or just the aspirate. In the end, they just left mine as an aspirate, as there were no suspicious cells observed.

The most pain was felt as they punctured through cartilage. It is just uncomfortable, but then the needle reached a place that did give me a bit of pain, so I let him know. I did this with a pitiful wincing expression and a groan that spoke a thousand words – mostly expletives.

I realize how tense my body is during the procedure, as it is exhausted when I relax afterwards. After about 3 hours of monitoring, I was allowed to head home.

I don’t want to have to do that again. I have had enough for now, and am looking forward to getting back into my normal routine. I have decided that it is easier for me this time to live as if my results are benign while we wait for cytology. It is a lot easier than living in limbo. If the results are not favourable, I will deal with that then.

Innocent until proven guilty.

4 comments.

So I guess you’re wondering why I have called this meeting.

Posted on September 18th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Yes, a very cute photo of The Gusmister. Stay tuned over the next week when I put an updated photo up of Stella Bella.

1 comment.

More Core

Posted on September 17th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Dr Brad called today and let me know that the Cardiothoracic Dr dude decided it would be better to do just a core sample of the mass, rather than send in the camera and whatever else they were thinking of.
I can’t say I am looking forward to it. I am hoping they give me some kind of sedative this time. There is something about someone pushing a long needle into my chest I have come to not enjoy.

2 comments.

You wanna piece of me?!!

Posted on September 16th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Biopsy, this Friday morning.

I noticed this morning that I have lost 14 kilos since I bulked up for chemo. I have lost a lot more than I thought I would this time around being on my diet too. I am trying to get to a goal weight of 85kg. Depending on how much they want to sample from me, this biopsy should help.

3 comments.

Postponed

Posted on September 15th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

I have been officially postponed. I was scheduled to go to the hospital today for what is called a simulation. This is just where they lay me down in situ as if I was going to have radiation to make sure all the angles and measurements are correct. I think they take a few scans from memory.

I got a call from the hospital asking to delay it for a week, until the results of the biopsy are confirmed. No problem there.

My body is going ok at the moment. I walked into work again today and back, so I am going to start getting back to the gym now and see how things go.

All we are waiting on now is a call from the cardiothoracic surgeon who will be performing the biopsy to let me know when it will take place.

1 comment.

From Whence I Came

Posted on September 14th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Nothing really to do with the walk, but I am just finding the following interesting.

I have been going through some old photos to use for promotional material for the silver business recently. This is one of them.

This is Grandpa Harris, the master craftsman. He did his training as a ring maker in Birmingham before coming out with his parents to Australia. He and his father melted their own watch chains to make rings to sell to Perth jewellers. This partnership was the beginning of Harris & Son.

When I look at Grandpa’s hands, I see that I have his hands, and so does my dad. Sometimes it is easier for others to see the resemblances, but I see the hands. Actually, there is more, but not in the photo. When I was about four, Grandpa was working silver down the shed in the Albany and as it was summer, Grandpa had his shorts on. Grandpa’s legs were thin, but strong, and crowned with knobbly knees. I said, “Grandpa, you’ve got funny legs!”
He looked down at his legs as he bounced up and down on them and replied, “What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong with my legs! They’re fine legs!”
I looked at his legs as he bounced up and down on them and the image stuck in my mind. Well, I grew up, as did my legs. Grandpa died when I was about twelve, but his legs still walk this earth with me everyday.

During my recent trip to the Albany, my Aunty mentioned a few times that out of the corner of her eye I would remind her of her father (who is my Mum’s father). It was the stance mainly, and maybe a few other characteristics.

Granddad Brown was a Baptist Minister in and around Perth. He spent a lot of time traveling through country areas, and eventually drove a van around carrying books and preaching at different places. One night, when my Mum, Aunty and Uncles were still quite young, he was involved in a car accident and was killed. He was about 40 years old. Here is a picture of him.

When I look at this picture, a few things stand out - the tilted head, the placement of hands, and the hair. Although I never met my Grandad, I can’t help feel these things feel quite familiar to me for some reason. I also have a three-piece suit, but I don’t think that’s genetic.

I haven’t written enough to do these two men justice here, but it is just something that I have found interesting more recently.

6 comments.

Where in the world is Guennadi?

Posted on September 13th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

There are few people that I can call up at 10,11, or 12pm to see if they want to go for a drive or have coffee. Guennadi is one of the few who I know will be awake usually, and tonight would have been a great night to go for a drive.

Guennadi is, again, one of the few people I know who really knows his place in this world. A lot of people go on epic journeys or self-awareness weekends to ‘find themselves’. But Guennadi knows who he is, and where he is. Now you can too, as Guennadi is on the move and carrying a personalised GPS. You can follow his movement here (hit the satellite tab and zoom right in)

and keep up with his experiences at guennadi.com

Safe travel brother.

2 comments.

Great Aspirations

Posted on September 12th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Today we had a consultation with Dr Brad. He was not content with the aspiration that was done the other day (I have been calling it a biopsy to avoid having to explain it, but really it was what is called a FNA or fine needle aspiration). It is just too out of the ordinary to have a large hematoma pop up for no reason. Great news, nonetheless.

So I am being scheduled for a biopsy under camera guidance. This will mean making a small incision up near my collarbone and sending in the camera to have a look. The samples can then be taken from various parts of the mass as well as being able to visual observe. This will be of course a more thorough biopsy, and hopefully be able to provide some clearer results. I will be under general anaesthetic for the procedure, so at least that makes it less traumatic.

In the meantime, I was scheduled for radiotherapy to start this coming Tuesday, and a simulation is booked for Monday. I am still going to go ahead with the simulator, but the radiotherapy is being deferred until results are back.

Physically, I am feeling pretty good. I have walked to work the last two days and my chest is less sore. My headaches are generally consistent but we are going to leave checking that out until this chest thing is sorted. I am feeling pretty healthy really, and all my bloods are in good shape. Nothing else really is affecting my day to day, and having energy back since stopping Thalidomide has been fantastic.

Libs has been taking the brunt of this though. She has had a particularly busy week at work, is still recovering to some extent from the flu, has only been sleeping with the help of sleeping tablets and has not been able to catch up with people much for lack of time and energy. This has been the area where I have felt helpless. I have not been able to work more than a week or two straight in the last year or so, and this is incredibly frustrating. Now, I need to have a clean run so work can get started. I am really excited by it all, and when the time is right, I will show and tell more about what I have been working on during the last 18 months or so. It will be good to bring a bit of balance back to the force.

I think I would really struggle if treatment needs to continue in the next few weeks. It would be very disheartening.

5 comments.

Details

Posted on September 9th, 2008 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

I am frantically running in and out of the house so not able to go into great detail. Firstly, we are very pleased that no cancer cells were found in the sample that they took. But I also have to make it clear that because of the nature of Myeloma, it is very difficult to be certain of this.

The report looks good at first, saying no malignant cells are found, but it doesn’t rule out the need to keep looking. It states the possibility of there being a tumor that may have been missed and there being a blood clot around it or in it. And there are still a few other things to check out around the site and still in the sternum.

As with all the results I get from tests, we have been getting used to not getting too excited, as it is just too unpredictable. So this good news comes with a warning, in that there are still things to look into. To be honest, I am very relieved this information points to a great outcome, but only because the results are inconclusive. It basically says we didn’t find anything in this sample, but it could be this or this, so test this.

So it will be more clear when we see Dr Brad, hopefully in the next few days.

Until then, I am calmly grinning cautiously, knowing that it is a good result, but there is more stuff to check out.

6 comments.

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