You’ve lost that … feeling.

Posted on April 18th, 2010 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

Still getting used to such great results the other day.  It is extremely difficult to live in the now and accept that things could be good, hopefully forever.

My body is still catching up though.  If there is something I would love continued prayer for it would be for my nerves.  One of the side-effects of multiple myeloma is what is called peripheral neuropathy.  This sensation is like a burning pins and needles in the feet and hands usually.  Great during winter when you need warming up.  It is also caused by the medications that I have been on for chemo.  So you are damned either way.

The downside is that peripheral neuropathy results in permanent nerve damage, and that seems to be getting worse.  I am losing feeling in my fingers and toes, making it very difficult to read Braille for a start.

I had a lot of nerve damage after my stem cell transplant, which come to think about it was two years ago a few days ago.  Now, the nerve damage continues.

I have my last chemo shot tomorrow, hopefully forever.  The end of this treatment should make things better, but I want my feeling to be restored.  All things are possible.

I have been advised to stay on my painkillers (yay) which is a big relief in one way as they do get me through the day emotionally.  But once again, the side-effects are hindering to say the least.  But until I have some stability for a while and until my other treatments kick in, I will be relying on them as per usual.

A friend who has had 59 operations to save her leg after a car crash years ago said that coming off these painkillers was the most difficult thing she has done.  I can see why.  When your mind is having to deal with medical and personal traumas, and you have a pill that can give you relief from that 15 minutes after swallowing –  the decision not to take it defies logic and expectation.  Becoming an substance abuser, in my opinion, is a process that follows logical decision making, making the wino in the gutter one a temporary genius.

1 comment.


Comment on April 19th, 2010.

Go you good thing.

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