The Spine Who Loved Me

Posted on September 13th, 2010 by Cam.
Categories: Let's talk.

I had an urgent MRI on Friday night, as both myself and Dr Brad were worried that the disease was in my spine.  My back problems have been an issue for numerous years now, but with everything else going on, they have been put on the backburner until now.

I have been in constant pain with my back, usually when I first wake up in the morning, but I got to the stage where sensations in my lower body have been compromised, and getting worse.  I thought either my spine is compressing due to bone density issues, or there may be lesions that are pushing on my spinal cord causing various problems.

I got the slides back today, and the report had not been completed, as they need to wait for a spinal specialist Dr to analyse them.  I assessed the slides myself, and I am glad I did because it put my mind at rest insofar as I could not see any sign of cancer that I have noticed in other disease-ridden bones on previous scans.  I had terrible thoughts that my spine was full of disease, and about to snap, collapse or get into my spinal cord.  I will have to wait to see what the REAL doctors say, but for now, I am breathing a little easier.

We had church camp over this last weekend, and I have to say it felt like the best weekend of my life.  I can’t remember being happier.  I know some of the reasons why I was so incredibly happy, but overall, it is an absolute miracle that I am in a place where happiness is possible.  It was only about April where it was a given I would be dead by July.  Only God could have changed that circumstance.  It was a hopeless situation without Him.

My church family make me so incredibly happy – a group of real, honest people who don’t mind sharing the good with the bad, the struggles with the wins.  The leader, Grant, has demonstrated an authentic passion for Christ centred living, and the people who go minister to me in more ways I could ever imagine.  I am so thankful for them all.

Now, every part of me is passionate about staying alive.  I have many people to thank for that.  It is hard to imagine what it will be like to have a healthy body again, but I believe it is possible, and I intend to do everything I can to live this life to the full, to love as I have craved, to have family as I have yearned, to live out the dreams and desires I have had all my life.  I just pray for more time, and wisdom.  Not just a little more, but 50 years more, and a lot more wisdom.

I plan to celebrate my 50th anniversary with someone, have kids, grandkids, and great grandkids.  This is my hope at least, and if it is all I have got, then that is enough.


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